Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
