What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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