so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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