Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
