He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
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I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am