I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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