I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.