there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks