hotel room ftw
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.