Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
