Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
