Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
