You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
