it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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