1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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