the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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