hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am midnight drunk by noon
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
being pregnant is like rehab
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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