We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
