I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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