At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
