I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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