I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
