I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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