My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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