he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
