you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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