her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
