At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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