Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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