it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
