I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
