You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
