I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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