MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
