I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
