So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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