You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
