Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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