scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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