If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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