It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
