i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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