No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
