every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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