omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
