I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
