I must be too annoying 4 u.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
