oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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