i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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