i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
