i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
