Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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