Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
