That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
