I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
