I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
