alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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