after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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