Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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