Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
