lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
