I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
