so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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