I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
