my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
