it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
