he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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