Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
