God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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