You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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